Ani, Piercings, Love...

Just about the sweetest love song I've ever heard...

YOUTUBE : ANI DIFRANCO HEARSE

Thanks, Ani :-)

Love songs are so much better when you're in love <3

Work was good today. Lots of laughs. A general lack of maturity. Gotta love having that temporary mental freedom from responsibility and worry.

I did two vertical hoods today. Being the one of the only piercers worth a shit in the state and being a female, I've been doing a lot of female genital piercings lately. It's fun... It's a very personal service. Close to prostitution in a very weird way. Money, body parts, sensation, trust... It's intense, I guess.

I always try, as much as my mood allows, to talk with them and form a camaraderie before the piercing. It really relaxes both of us.

I pierced a client's daughter's ears the other day.  She's 4.  The only other 4 yr. old's ears I've pierced is my boyfriend's daughter's... so it brought some fuzzy, warm memories into the forefront of my mind... and heart.

As I've said before, younger kids do much better with piercing than teenagers. This girl was so cute and sat so amazingly. And asked so many smart questions for her age like - "Why are you wearing gloves?" - "Why did you change your gloves?" - "Can I touch my neck?" (after I said not to touch them at all)... It was pretty awesome. My co-workers were joking that I should specialize in pediatric and geriatric piercing (as those are my favorite type of people to deal with). I responded quickly, "That would be FUCKING AMAZING"

Her mother.... well, her mother - I pierced her hood... as a reclamation of her genitals after rape and molestation and it ended with a shared "Fuck Him!" and a sincere hug and tears. That is my one and probably last experience like that within this career.

Quick sidenote: Just caught my puppy chewing on my under-the-bed-restraints.... um... yeeeah...

I got an Ani Difranco CD in the mail today. Titled, "Which side are you on?", it is her first studio album release in 3 years. I have been waiting with baited breath. And as usual, her words and sounds gave me chills and teary eyes. Good thing I uploaded this sucker to iTunes because I'm gonna stick this CD in my car CD player and play it until it burns. Until its burns so hot that singing along makes my throat feel as fiery as a dragon's.

I might be a little too obsessed... ah... oh, well :-P

Have I mentioned how ridiculously in love I am? It's disgusting. Disgustingly awesome, that is. I'm in that period... where everything is perfect about the individual of your desire and nothing anyone can say or prove will change that... Thing is, I think I'm gonna feel this way for a looong time... Because I really admire the man as a person and teacher and father...

OK.. I'm gonna stop making you vomit little bits of your dinner into your mouth...

But, what we have going on? It's pretty fuckin' sweet!, LOL

Wellbutrin SR

A month or so ago, I weaned myself off of Zoloft. I was on 100mg a day for a few years. The only real difference I noticed was short-lived. I felt peppy and positive for, oh... 2 weeks or so.

So I had to go to the doctor to adjust and get more of my blood pressure medication; and I also wanted a prescription for anxiety relief. I had been on 0.5mg of Xanax for a few years too. (My overwhelming anxiety when  dealing with normal problems was going through the roof again). So, she did both of these things and also prescribed 300mg of Wellbutrin SR a day. She said it can help with appetite.

In looking up lots about Wellbutrin since, that makes perfect sense. People are put on it for underlying depression and it also helps people quit smoking and drinking... So it makes perfect sense - that if it helps with addiction cravings - it would help with overeating  - if food is your drug of choice.

Also, with Zoloft - many people actually feel the need to engage in their addictions more so. I can definitely say that Zoloft did nothing for my appetite and actually did increase my desire to drink and eat and by the end of it - while my anxiety was lessened - my depression had gone from low-grade to, well, pretty bad. Lack of motivation, fatigue, isolation, hopelessness, random crying... Ah, well... you know what depression is like.

I can happily say that after less that a week on Wellbutrin, I've lost 3 pounds and my motivation to get things done has definitely resurfaced. Tasks don't seem as overwhelming as usual. My desire to make art seems to be coming back which is an important part of who I am. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and pride, and DAMN, I needed that.

Also, in direct opposition to most SSRI's, many have seen an increase in their sex drive while on this drug. Of course, mine was never bad. But then again, I could go a couple of weeks without masturbating and not think twice about it. Just 3 or 4 years ago, it was a daily event... sometimes multiple times a day. So, hell... maybe it was an issue...

Of course, we'll see if it continues to work. A lot of times the drastic differences experienced during the initial introduction of an anti-depressant mellow out to a happy medium... or OK medium, at least.

My love life is great as well, which has certainly helped me feel better overall... But I realized this time around with depression - that it has nothing to do with how happy the person makes me. I'm always happy around this guy. I feel that he is good for me because he brings out the good and the happy and the intellectual in me. But I also found myself crying sometimes for NO reason when I was alone - which made it very obvious that this is MY problem and can't be fixed by food or a person or anything else. Though that seems pretty logical - it's the first time I've felt that (knowing and feeling/doing are two very different things). So, hopefully that will be of significant help to me and in paving the way for a healthy relationship. That revelation comes in most handy in the fact that our relationship is open.

Oh, and if you're reading this - I love you ;)

Off to work!

Not even sure this makes any sense. My brain is half-asleep :-P

The taste and texture of lusty, swooning pop songs is far more pleasing to my palate when I'm feeling love personally. As if, before, my ears could only identify that the flavor was simply sweet.  But when the palate is prepped by a pumping heart, the ear drum trembles along with the low, chocolaty beats; smooth, round, soft yet robust. Sweet but hearty. The treble trilling suddenly seems not shrill but tart and tooth-achingly sugary; an acidic sharp warbling in my jaw. The soft background tones that were once drowned out and faded are still subtle but far more identifiable and enjoyable. They're dewy, moist, and soft like cotton. Slightly sweet but stable and ever-present.

Random Talk.

Enjoy the music while you read...

http://youtu.be/iTHWQSfaFLA

I'm really into Ke$ha  right now. I have no excuses... I'm an adult and it makes no sense. Also... I might listen to shit - but at least I can recognize it...

 "You should know
That I love you a lot
But I just can't date a dude with a vag"

Thanks Ke$ha...Thanks for reinforcing those gender roles and singing an embarrassing, piece-of-shit song...

It's catchy though.

I hate celebrity Christmas albums. I've heard those old songs enough. And the old versions were better because they were antiquated and cozy and reminiscent of a past that we have colored in much warmer tones than it was originally painted.

I'm in Zoloft withdrawals. It's pretty awful. It feels like electric zaps in your head. I felt fine for awhile after having sex... I realized that I probably blasted a bunch of serotonin into my neural pathways... Brain chemistry is so crazy.

BTW... And I'm sure he'll feel proud if he reads it... I am having the best sex of my life.   I'm imagining your applause... And I am waving my hands in that Hollywood, "Oh!, You simply mustn't! It is MY honor!" way.

It's been hood fever at work. What I mean by "hood" has nothing to do with gold teeth and fat booties... I mean clitoral hoods... and "work" (it should always have the quotation marks, honestly) involves shoving needles through them. I love my job... But it's an odd place to be in your late 20's. Or any age, probably...

"So what do you do?"

"Oh! How kind of you to ask! I STAB PEOPLES' GENITALS."*

I'm exhausted... But Luchini needs to be out of his crate for a few hours... And I didn't get home until 2:20...

I got tattooed at work today. We've got 2 apprentices and I'm letting them both do little banger tattoos (that's what we call small, quick ones) on me. In actuality... only one of them has tattooed me... twice... but the other will have a go soon.   Anyway... It's a toad/frog sitting on a mushroom with an umbrella. It makes no sense but it's soooo cute!!!

People, don't take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive.

I read that at the post office... It was someone's desk accessory.   Honestly, a bit morbid... Better hope they don't go postal. I know personally that the guy was into some pretty crazy metal like "Disturbed"

I am being completely sarcastic. Actual scary bands usually start from Norway or Denmark.

No. really. Wiki pedia "Mayhem" the band. Craziness.

I'vebeen osessively watching Parks and Recreation. It's the office. Except way better. Ron Swanson is my new hero.

Ok. Well, I'm tired...




*among other things

Another Day, Another Dollar...

I have a job that is the penultimate of cool... if you're 21 or under anyway... In reality, it's only kind of cool.

I have found that piercing clientele stays relatively around the same age as I get older. It's such a strange disconnect... I've made Tupac references that teens didn't get in the slightest.  And piercing the nipples/genitals of people almost 10 years younger than me makes me feel slightly like a pedophile.

I pierced a 10-yr-old boy's ears today. I love piercing kids that haven't entered puberty. I don't know what it is about puberty that makes teens so incredibly dramatic (especially females) but the younger kids sit great, listen attentively, and really seem to understand that it will hurt but only for a second and that in order to have the piercing, that's just something they have deal with.

Oh, but you damn teen girls, you! They start menstruating and suddenly start asking if it's going to hurt about 5 different times - in various different ways... like a personality test that really wants the true answers. They start texting, squealing, being indecisive, crying, and saying to each other, "If you do it, I'll do it.... your mom is going to KILL you!" and generally annoying me. What changes? I'm guessing gender socialization.

So, the 10 year old was amazing and funny. This kid could probably sell me on having kids, he was that cool. I've only met a handful of kids like that. On the other hand... 9pm rolls around (we close at 10) and three teen girls roll up. Now, I have a completely irrational anger when it come to folks who come in during the last hour of business. I say irrational because it doesn't irritate me so much as it infuriates me - which is unjustified since I'll be making at least $20 off the person... But it is what it is... my pet peeve...

So anyway, this girl takes 20 minutes of indecision and whining in a 5 year old's voice about how scared she is before she even decides to get pierced. So irrationally, I wanted to choke her out.

It ended up being fine. She was so excited afterwards... just a ball of squeals and giggles...she even hugged me... which people do from time to time...It's an interesting aspect of having a very intimate type of service job. That, and videos and pictures. Small town rock star, they say about being in the industry.


I'm on day 6 of 12 consecutive days of work. I really don't mind. Fridays and Saturdays are rough because they're back to back and ten hours each, but I've worked much longer hours. As with any customer service position (and that is A TON of my job)... it's super easy to get burned out. But I long ago passed that point... and now you have to do everything short of punching me to get me to be VISIBLY annoyed.  It's kinda like being so hungry that it hurts and then it just stops and you're fine... not hungry at all.

My job has LOTS of positives though. I get to look how I want to look, say what I want to say, and generally be immature and vulgar with my co-workers who are more like family than anything else. One of my co-workers and I actually joke about being brother and sister... since we're both Hitler-quality white (blonde, pale, light eyes, thin hair... the whole sha-bang) and we're both total pervs. Count on US to make it uncomfortable.

So... I'm complaining, and yet, not really.

Luchini is staying with my friend, Jenny, since yesterday morning until tomorrow evening. With me working so many days in a row - and with Fri & Sat being so long - I wanted him to have doggy playtime and not be stuck in his crate ALL the time. And also - I need some downtime. Puppies are remarkably stressful sometimes. Props to you guys with kids (I have no clue how you're surviving).

I started watching "The Walking Dead" on Netflix. I'm not even into zombies but this show is GREAT. You should definitely check it out.

And that's all really. Kind of a random, disjointed post... but whatever :-P

It's Early.

Got up to let the dog out. He's eating now, so I'm just letting him chow down for a bit before we go back to bed.

Work was slow yesterday until about 5pm. Then, as always, the three piercings I did in all of yesterday came in at the same time. One girl got her tongue pierced and it was a family event. Everyone in the family - or at least all the women - shared a particular trait for loud enthusiasm and general spaciness (which is saying something coming from me). It was a particular mixture that was overwhelming for me. They're nice enough though. Just really intense.

I'm working the next 10 days straight. I'm covering the weekend... Being that we've had a prolonged slow period, and that I perform a service frequented by teens and young adults, the weekends are where the serious money is at. So, what I'm saying is that I'm glad I'm working more.

I feel like my thoughts are coming together poorly. Then again... it IS really early for me to try to be thinking at all, let alone writing the thoughts down in a cohesive manner...

It's time for bed... again.

New Photo of Embroidery

First try on a large piece.... Pretty damn good, if I do say so, myself... Progress to follow...