Wellbutrin SR

A month or so ago, I weaned myself off of Zoloft. I was on 100mg a day for a few years. The only real difference I noticed was short-lived. I felt peppy and positive for, oh... 2 weeks or so.

So I had to go to the doctor to adjust and get more of my blood pressure medication; and I also wanted a prescription for anxiety relief. I had been on 0.5mg of Xanax for a few years too. (My overwhelming anxiety when  dealing with normal problems was going through the roof again). So, she did both of these things and also prescribed 300mg of Wellbutrin SR a day. She said it can help with appetite.

In looking up lots about Wellbutrin since, that makes perfect sense. People are put on it for underlying depression and it also helps people quit smoking and drinking... So it makes perfect sense - that if it helps with addiction cravings - it would help with overeating  - if food is your drug of choice.

Also, with Zoloft - many people actually feel the need to engage in their addictions more so. I can definitely say that Zoloft did nothing for my appetite and actually did increase my desire to drink and eat and by the end of it - while my anxiety was lessened - my depression had gone from low-grade to, well, pretty bad. Lack of motivation, fatigue, isolation, hopelessness, random crying... Ah, well... you know what depression is like.

I can happily say that after less that a week on Wellbutrin, I've lost 3 pounds and my motivation to get things done has definitely resurfaced. Tasks don't seem as overwhelming as usual. My desire to make art seems to be coming back which is an important part of who I am. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and pride, and DAMN, I needed that.

Also, in direct opposition to most SSRI's, many have seen an increase in their sex drive while on this drug. Of course, mine was never bad. But then again, I could go a couple of weeks without masturbating and not think twice about it. Just 3 or 4 years ago, it was a daily event... sometimes multiple times a day. So, hell... maybe it was an issue...

Of course, we'll see if it continues to work. A lot of times the drastic differences experienced during the initial introduction of an anti-depressant mellow out to a happy medium... or OK medium, at least.

My love life is great as well, which has certainly helped me feel better overall... But I realized this time around with depression - that it has nothing to do with how happy the person makes me. I'm always happy around this guy. I feel that he is good for me because he brings out the good and the happy and the intellectual in me. But I also found myself crying sometimes for NO reason when I was alone - which made it very obvious that this is MY problem and can't be fixed by food or a person or anything else. Though that seems pretty logical - it's the first time I've felt that (knowing and feeling/doing are two very different things). So, hopefully that will be of significant help to me and in paving the way for a healthy relationship. That revelation comes in most handy in the fact that our relationship is open.

Oh, and if you're reading this - I love you ;)

Off to work!